Ok, so round 2 at the trailer park.

So as you know, I stick around the park rent collection days, which included fridays and the beginning of the month.  (of course the beginning of the month being the time when individuals recieved their social security and disability checks retirement + section 8)

For a number of those checks they would choose me for their custodian.  (Some individuals were not allowed to collect their own check. It had to be rationed out through a custodian to make sure all bills, expenses, food etc was covered)

Such was the case of, lets call her "marta".

Mid forties, "Marta" was an interesting individual, well known in this area for her unusual antics. 

There was the time she stood out on her front porch flinging her nightdress over her head (nothing underneath) because, and I quote, "she had to air it out."

Then there was the time she had chased my electrician across the park with a rake screaming "El Diablo! El Diablo!"  

Now remembering what he looked like I can say that was probably an honest mistake. :)

Suffice to say, she was deserving of her disability check.  (Honestly, I dont know why she wasn't institutionalized before)

Well, I was her check custodian, so when it came I took her to the check cashing store to get it cashed, then to the electric company to pay her bill then groceries.

She was in a particularly lucid mindframe so I told her that we could stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat. 

This of course made her day,  and it was actually a chance for me to stay away from the park for a little bit which didn't hurt as the chore for the day was emptying the warehouse behind the office of all the mattresses and furniture that had stuffed it to the gills and taking it to the dump.

We were going to stop when I got a call from the manager that there was some urgent issue that needed me back immediately.  So back we went.  Marta was none too happy about that.

When we got back she got out of the truck and slammed the door letting me know her anger. 

I soon forgot about her as there was a crowd in the office, each with a need that dwarfed any other. (yes I'm being sarcastic)

I had heard and addressed around half of the needs when Marta stormed into the office demanding to go to lunch as promised.

"Can't you see I'm busy?!" I blurted.  Then realizing how brusk I had sounded, I said in a calmer voice.  "I can't do it today, but we'll try again tomorrow."

Out she stormed again.  She paced in front of the office a few times, then much calmer walked back in,  Went over to none other than "Jonathan the idiot security guard" and asked him for a cigarette.  Which of course he obliged, and out she walked again. 

I, thinking she had calmed down, went back to the task at hand when in walked Marta again.  (not nearly enough time to have finished her cig.)  

"OK bye" She said and walked out again, presumedly to head back to her house. 

"Well finally," I thought and soon forgot her.

Around 10 minutes later, another tenant runs into the office and says, "You do know your office is on fire?"

We all ran out and sure enough there was a blaze running up the side of my building easily 30 feet high.

Apparently the guys who were emptying the warehouse had left a large stack of old mattresses pushed up to my office's back wall.

Now I have an interesting piece of trivia for you.  Old mattresses make great kindling for a half smoked cigarette.

So, I'm standing in front of this blazing inferno in shock as a crowd starts to gather and watch the festivities. 

I was jolted into reality by my manager's panicked voice. 

"What are we going to do?" she sobbed.

"Call 911," I Yelled back.  "And go see if we have any fire extinguishers!!"

"I've got one in my apt." One tenent yelled. 

"Well go grab it!" I responded.  "Everyone go get your fire extinguishers!!" I hollered to all the lookie loo's.

Just at that time the first tenant had come back with his fire extinguisher. 

My heart sank when I saw what he had brought back.  The fire exinguisher was one of those mini kitchen extinguishers about as wide as a 20 oz coke bottle. (thankfully a little taller)

I stood there for a second then thought. "What the heck?" grabbed the thing and ran toward the blaze.

I had sprayed out that peashooter within a matter of seconds with what seemed to be no results.  The flames were so hot I had to run back to the place I started from, where waiting for me was my next smurfed size extinguisher.

Over and over I ran into that blaze with my exercize in futility, (this gives me new respect for that extendable umbrella and bee bee gun)(and if you don't get that joke read the first blog at http://www.realestateinvestor.com/media/blog/5719-You-can-t-make-stuff-like-this-up/?back=myblogswidget) but believe it or not little by little the flames were going down.

By the time the firetrucks got there the flame had been totally put out. 30 or more mini extinguisher littered the ground.  I was covered in ash and soot.  The plastic on my baseball cap which I had on backwards (because thats how I roll)  had melted onto my forehead, and the soles of my sneakers had litterally melted away to a mushy mess.  In other words I looked the part.

When the police arrived and asked us what had happened, of course we knew and told them about Marta whom we noticed across the highway watching her handywork. 

When she saw the police men crossing the street to question her, she made a shriek and took off running causing a footchase that looked so comical I almost forgot about the damage for a moment.  (These boys had not missed a donut)

I tell you this story to say this.  "Hell hath no fury like a crazy woman scorned." or

Fella's, keep your lunch dates!

Dave

The Private money guy

www.privatemoney4all.com