Where to begin organizing the chaos that is my mind? Let's start with this visual representation:

All right, glad we got THAT out of the way.

Unfounded-Yet-True Statement 1: Immigrants make better tenants that natives. You know why? Because they don't want you looking over their shoulders too closely, so they won't harass you to death. That, and the fact that they don't have a sense of entitlement, like so many American tenants do.

Useful Link 1: The Landlord Humor Blog - Where do you think I got that picture above?

Selling/Rental Trick 1: When trying to sell or rent a house, the most effective thing you can do is appeal to the buyer or tenant's sense of class. The trick is to send a message that, by moving into your rental property, they are entering a higher class (which is of course false, they'll always be dog-beating, pickup-driving scum, but never mind that). So provide class identifiers, such as flat screen TVs, fancy knife sets, ceramic tile, or whatever makes people think "that's classy."

Useful Link 2: Free Rental Application Form

All right, that's probably enough fun for one day, but as a second rate actor-turned-politician once said: "I'LL BE BACK!"

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